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  1. Hey Shary!
    First of all, great job with the set-up of your portfolio! Not only was the portfolio easy to navigate, but you also had a great title for the first story that instantly drew me in. The title was very creative and unique, so job well done! One of my favorite twists of your story was the name change to the Forget-Me-Not flower, I think that has incredible amounts of symbolism behind it, and I enjoyed see why you switched that in there instead. An interesting change would be if the brothers took the journey to save their mother separately because they had gotten into a fight, but in the end, they could come back together and realize they are stronger together than they are apart. Also, this is a small grammar thing, but in the introduction there is a typo; it says he rjoy instead of her joy!! Fantastic job!

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  2. Hey Shary!

    I really enjoyed reading your story. You did such a good job spinning the story to make it your own I did not realize you drew ideas from The Three Roses. I like the homage to Beauty and the Beast by naming the son Gaston. I love your elaborative skills with this story. What drew me in was the title because it was so different and unique. I also like the twist with the two sons father. I had no idea you were going to do that. The story in its own was interesting enough and when I got to that part I was shocked. I was happy everyone got a happy ending because I thought the poor widow mom was not going to make it. I love the loyalty shows by the parents. They loved each other so much just the energy of them alive and well was enough to overcome anything. Great job!

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  3. Hey Shary!

    First and foremost, I loved that you replaced the rose with the forget-me-not flower. That was so creative and helped differentiate your story from the original story. Additionally, I like how the title was a play on words of the flower; " The Forget-Him-Nots." The title was so clever as it foreshadowed what would happen during the story without revealing too much. That was such a nice touch. Additionally, I liked how the brothers were named after characters from Beauty and the Beast. As soon as I read Gaston and Lumiere, I immediately thought of Beauty and the Beast. Since the two stories are related, that was the perfect way to connect them. Well done. What I like most about your writing style are all the "Easter eggs." How you connected those two stories and add small, yet thoughtful details is incredible. I think you should incorporate that type of writing into your future work. Great job!

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  4. Hi Shary!

    I think replacing the rose with the forget-me-not flower is a clever decision as it truly does reflect the themes of the stories. I remember reading your story on your blog, and I was wanting to know more of the forget-me-not flower, so I it was really helpful that you added the scientific name of the flower! I also think the reference to the Beauty and the Beast is a smart way to blend two stories together. Something that I think you could add to the story is tell the reader how he became the serpent. I think there are a lot interesting ways you could do this, and it would really add to the story! In regard to your portfolio, it is very easy to coordinate and neatly set up! I enjoyed the background photo of the forget-me-not flowers as it added to the significance of their symbolism.

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  5. Hello Shary! I just want to start by saying the layout of your project website is so pretty and I had no trouble navigating it at all! I first read your story The Forget-Him-Nots and thought the way that you adjusted it worked very well and seemed to even create a whole new story. The use of Disney character names tied in with the ending where the beast becomes the sons' father was a great idea. Your other story, The Jealous Stepmother, reminded me so much of Cinderella! Being able to relate your stories to those that I have read/seen before really helped me understand what was happening and focus on the new twists that you added. One suggestion I have for Forget-Him-Nots would be to add in the fight that caused the brothers to split ways so that the readers can understand exactly why Lumiere decided to run away. Otherwise I think your writing and decisions to add extra parts to the story were creative and work great with your project!

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  6. Hey Shary! I loved your story. When I read for title I didn't know which Classics your were referring to, but when I opened it I was happily surprised. The Disney classics are a must. But at the same time, you went your own way with it so its not dark like the originals or like the Disney adaptions. I really like that. There is so much symbolism in your story that I felt like I was reading a book in a high school English class and needed to write down what I thought they meant and keep track of it. And that is so hard to do and you did it so well! Nice job!

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  7. Hey Shary!

    I just finished reading your story “The Forget-Him-Nots.” First I’d like to say that your title is very creative and I am a huge fan. It definitely adds a cool twist to the feeling of the story, so that is really neat. I also love the name of the two brothers. It did not pass me by, like it might others. I wonder, who are the enemies that the husband died fighting? I think if you expanded on that in your revisions, it would ass something really unique to your story. What if the boys head set out on a journey not to find the flowers but to instead, find the husband? And then on their way, they find the basilisk who ends uo being their father. I was really surprised when the basilisk ended up being their father. I definitely did not see that coming. Great writing and I am looking forward to your next story.

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  8. Hi Shary!

    I really enjoyed reading your story of the brothers! When I saw the names Gaston and Lumiere, I immediately knew that this was related to Beauty and the Beast, but I hadn't known about any backstory to them being brothers. After reading your author's note, I realised that you actually based it on a different story! I thought the adventure of the two brothers was interesting, but the best part was definitely the twist at the end regarding the father hidden in the basilisk. I didn't see that coming at all! The bickering between the brothers also added some humor that lightened up the rest of the story. I wonder what would happen if you elaborated further on the father's backstory, as it did seem a little bit rushed towards the end. However, I really enjoyed the story and you are an amazing writer! I look forward to reading more!

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  9. Shary,

    What an awesome first story you wrote! I was engaged the entire time, and couldn't stop reading. I think part of this came from your ability to create twists and turns so flawlessly. I thought you did a great job at helping the readers feel emotion and a connection to your story. I think the biggest "wow" moment for me was when the monster was their father - that was such a fantastic aspect to your story! How great too that the power of love healed the widow. I was a little confused why they needed to go on an epic journey to heal their mother. Were they going somewhere specific? I think it was confusing because they found the hill by chance when they were supposed to be going on an epic journey that not many return from. What if they were trying to visit a special healer? Or maybe a special healing potion they had heard about?

    This was awesome!! Great work.

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  10. Hey Shary!
    I really enjoyed your portfolio. I was really happy with both stories that I read. I really enjoyed the symbolism that was shown from the Forget-me-not flower. I feel that whenever we lose someone, we don’t want to ever forget them. We still hold so much love and care for that person even though they are no longer with us. I am big into thrilling stories and that first one had me on the edge of my seat. I also liked how you let us know that this was related to Beauty and the Beast. I never would have thought that your first story would have been linked so that was interesting sidebar. In your second story I wonder what would have happened if the evil stepmother had not been evil. Also, why was she only after money and status in the first place? I know there are tons of stories that deal with evil stepmothers, but we are never really told why they turn out that way. It would be interesting to find out for sure! Overall, I really enjoyed these stories and cannot wait to read more.

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  11. Hi Shary!
    Your stories were amazing and full of detail. For the first story, I kept wondering what would happen next. There were so many twists and turns! I can not believe this was related to Beauty and the Beast. I would have never thought about that. I loved your second story as well! You were really able to transform the story into something else! The aspect of jealousy was clearly shown through the stepmother character. I had a few questions about the second story. I was wondering what the pigs did during those months. Did they adjust to being a pig? Did they visit people and/or places to try to reverse the curse? It would be interesting to see what happened during those months through the sister’s perspective! In addition, I wondered why the father quickly believed that the girls were eaten by wolves. Was this a common occurrence? These are just a few suggestions, and I hope I helped!

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  12. Dang Shary! I just read Part II of your story and I really want to know what happens next! I'm really on my toes now because I am reading this at like 1am and I'm all excited now from that story! I love the Arabian nights and it's awesome that you are telling the stories in a darker manner thus keeping with the tone of the story! One thing that I was thinking about that I was confused about is why Beatrice had to do all those wicked deeds. It's also interesting that you chose the name Beatrice as that name has a lot of blessed connotations to in Catholic stories like Dante. Did you just decide on that on a whim or is there a deeper meaning behind it? Perhaps you could go into the names of the characters and provide a background for why you did what you did. Anyways, great story! I am excited to read more!

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  13. Shary, I am reading your chapter 1 story and I am so intrigued by it!! The detail that you provide your readers is outstanding. I think it was also humorous that you added a brotherly fight in your story haha! However, the brothers do bond over their love for their mother and their similarities bring them back together after being separated by picking flowers for their sick mom. They also realized that their mother is what brings them together. I was not expecting the basilisk to show up! I wonder if his beautiful field of flowers was some sort of trick to trap the boys. But holy moly, I was not prepared for the ending of chapter 1. The basilisk turned into their dad that was deceased. I am glad that the story ended with a happy ending. I am also impressed that you created these twists and turns and made them come alive. Really great job!!!

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  14. Hi Shary!

    In the first paragraph, I was a bit confused by the wording in, "Her boys were the only thing that gave her joy, for it was five years since her love disappeared, killed in war against the enemies." I understood it was because her sons resembled her husband only after I read the next sentence.

    2nd paragraph: "...doctors, herbs, medicines, and a priest." Is there a reason why priest is singular, unlike the others?

    How were the brothers able to let go of their anger? I would recommend explaining how the brothers' anger cooled down over time or that they saw each other collecting flowers for the same purpose and forgot their earlier frustration.

    Also, where did the basilisk come from? The top of a hill doesn't have any hiding places that come to mind. Maybe you could include the basilisk as one of the reasons the road is treacherous, as described in the second paragraph.

    For your second story, why didn't the father notice that his daughters were wary of the stepmother?

    For your story's format, I would change the names "Chapter #" to the titles you put on each subpage. Otherwise, it appears that the chapters are a continuation of the same characters.

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  15. Hello Shary,
    This week I had the opportunity to read through your storybook and I would like to say that it is very clean! Often times you'll see with different stories and different things that students write there will be several different loose ends that never get tied up due to a lack of storytelling ability. With this story we got to see the beginning and end of each of the characters stories. Sometimes authors will introduce a character just to further a part of the story but they won't give them their due amount of introduction and they almost never get closure. I really enjoyed the completion of this story in every aspect. Not many storytellers including myself have that ability so keep it up!

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  16. Hi Shary!

    I just finished reading through your portfolio, and I think you've done a really creative job adapting these two stories. I especially liked the story with Gaston and Lumiere (I'm a big Beauty and the Beast fan, for one thing) because I thought it was such a clever way to change the original story and weave in elements of a different modern retelling (Beauty and the Beast), yet still make it totally your own, and give it an entirely different type of happy ending. Your website was also easy to navigate, so that was good too! One critique that I have for you moving forward with revisions, though, is to keep an eye on the grammar in your stories. The verb tense shifted back and forth a lot, and there were a other few typos/grammatical errors. If you go back through the stories again and edit some of these things, it will make them even better. Good luck! :)

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  17. Hi Shary! I am from the Indian Epics class but I love classic stories so I was intrigued and decided to give your website a visit. I love the book banner picture on your home page. It looks very classic and sets a nice tone for the rest of your website. Your first story was amazing! The Beauty and the Beast is one of my all time favorites so I enjoyed this story wayyy too much. Your authors note was very informative and let me know the backstory to your retelling of the classic. I may have to go and read the original classic tale. Your second story was very fun to read as well. I had never heard of this classic story but I loved your retelling so I may have to go and reread it as well. Overall, I really enjoyed your classic stories website. It was nice to revisit some old classics and some that I had not read before. I am looking forward to revisiting your site.

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  18. Hi Shary!
    I really enjoyed reading your story. I also read and wrote a story about the three roses! It actually took me a second to realize that that was the story you were going off of because of how uniquely you chose to spin it! You even threw some disney channel easter eggs in there by naming the son Gaston. I did not see the twist at the end coming at all. It is evident that you are truly a gifted writer. I think it is so great how different out stories are from each other, despite choosing the same main story to start with. You somehow even managed to give everyone a happy ending which I also did. Your story would have been great without the happiness but that added even more credit. You were able to show how true love can overcome all barries too. I really enjoyed this story, keep it up!

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  19. Hello,
    I have to say I thought your webpage looked vary nicely designed. It is very simple, and the concept doesn’t even need an introduction. From reading the title the reader can assume that you will be retelling classic stories. When I read through the first story I was really blown away. I loved the concept and how it was executed. I felt for the widow and her sons. I also felt overjoyed at the end of the story. They were reunited with their father and were able to bring him home. The second story was as thrilling as the first. I read it just as fast even though I read the original and kind of saw where it was going. You wrote it very beautifully and the pictures you used for the stories I feel fit quite well. I connected with the characters from each of your stories and wanted them to find happiness.

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  20. Hello Shary! I really enjoyed your website and the portfolio that you put together. The pictures on your site really make the site come together and the way your stories come together really make your portfolio a well-oiled machine. The first story itself is an amazing story. It was created with great artistic feel and it was executed with great success and it made me really want to read the other stories. This week was a focus on paragraphs. Your stories did a great job with spacing out the story. Your spacing made the story read easy and it flowed exceptionally well. Your paragraphs gave me the time to process the information that I was getting from the stories and not get overwhelmed by it. The dialogue of the stories were used well and the way you were able to separate them in different paragraphs was truly great to see. I loved your portfolio and I am excited to see what comes from it in the future.

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  21. Shary,
    Your story was very interesting. I have never heard a story like that one before. I did notice some Disney vibes but it was still original. I like that you made the characters emotional. I think that definitely connects readers to the story. I did not expect the husband to come back into the story especially from the body of a basilisk so cudos to you for the wow factor. I like that you added some discourse to the family and then tied them back together in the end. It was such a sweet way too. The flowers that guided them back was heart-warming. I do think it would make the story even more interesting to add more detail about the husband. Maybe what the war was about? Who he fought against? Something of that nature. I was also a little confused about the way the husband got swallowed, I assume, by the basilisk. I know you said demons took him but why did they take him? I would also love to see more detail in the fight scene with the brothers and the basilisk. The more graphic the better!

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